How to stop the victim mindset
The victim mindset is more common today than you think
But we don’t realise it because what we think speaks to us more than what anyone thinks
We can be in the bubble of a victim mindset and not know how to take ourselves out of it
In this post, I will be sharing with you how to stop the victim mindset
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Firstly, what is a victim mindset
If you have clicked on this post, a victim mindset to you might mean that what happened to you was not your fault, but everyone around you
Defined by Charlie health, a victim mindset is a persistent and often harmful mindset where people view themselves as powerless and constantly wronged by others or their circumstances.
1. Social media feeds the victim mindset
If you look at social media today, it feeds on the victim mindset by giving your circumstances power
and making it a them problem rather than a maybe I problem
Man in the mirror by Michael Jackson is a great example, because we like to say
“everyone around us has bad intentions and this world is changing, everyone is negative.”
not thinking that we can make a difference in the world
I agree people around us can be negative, but do we have to surround ourselves with people like that or can we distance ourselves?
Sometimes people are physically able to distant themselves but still consume information that is bad for them
Overcoming the victim mindset (How to stop the victim mindset)
To overcome the victim mindset we need to think about what truly is important and what do we need to do , not what others need to do
We are human and we can always learn how we can treat people
I compare negativity as pollution in the street; it spreads until we make a stop and try to reduce the pollution
Maybe by not driving, but by walking or using a car that has less energy
We can always make the change; it’s better to consider our contribution rather than force others to change
Having no control
What is it you feel you have no control over? Maybe your upbringing has affected you, and now everyone you meet disrespects you
Or you need to speak a certain way, or others will ignore you
Maybe you need to be meaner so people don’t walk all over you
Is this true? Thinking this way is an example of why how you behave has control over how others treat you
You feel as if you behave a certain way, people will respond negatively
As mentioned, the answer to overcoming a victim mindset
is to think about what is truly important and what you need to do.
Expecting others to treat you a certain way isnt important, it makes you feel powerless
Dont expect from others
Expect from yourself, and from then on, you can easily create boundaries because you are prioritising yourself
What is always important (How to stop the victim mindset)
You might be soft spoken and think people won’t take you seriously
but what will always be important is the message
not being accepted by others: If they don’t accept you, they are not important.
What is important is how much you take care of yourself and present yourself in a way that you have prioritised yourself
not how others treat you
When you learn to expect from yourself, growth happens, you learn to self-reflect on what it is you need to change, and from then on, changes happen.
Check out my previous post: How to gain energy from God
Healing takes time
Remember, healing takes time
You may have come from a tumultuous background, and you felt like there was never a break
It can feel difficult to focus on what’s important when your mind is occupied with how others treat you
You can talk about it to someone you confide in, or you can journal about this to express it openly
Once youve expressed it, ask yourself what is important in this moment and take action towards it
Overthinking thoughts may come but, dont fight it, it will go
If you resist, you are fighting it
The validation you need is that you are growing and becoming a better person
and everything you desire is coming your way
Think of it this way.
My previous post on how to gain energy from God might be able to help you
A perspective (How to stop the victim mindset)
We begin as a garden, and through our experiences, plants grow
We can either cut off the plants that are not purposeful in our life, or allow it to still have a presence in our life
It can feel unsafe to cut off plants because they look beautiful to you, but is this what we need?
or do we need a garden that has all we need not one that is a burden in our lives
Let the plants grow, not too much, but enough
Here is practical advice you can implement now from reading this post
Write a list of your goals- what do you want to achieve? Make sure this doesn’t involve how others treat you
Write a list of what’s important to you? Maybe relationships are important to you, what is it you look for in a relationship, write it down
Maybe you want to focus on self care or cleanliness- write it down
Maybe you want to gain habits in which you are always taking care of yourself, write it down
Think about how long you will focus on these goals till they become a habit
The goals that you list, how will you implement it in your day-to-day life
Maybe you want a job. What do you need to acquire a job
Are you financially dependent? do you live in a toxic household? What is it you need to do to move forward
What are the negative or toxic things you need to get rid of that is in the way of your goals
Focus on your goals and be open to opportunities that come your way
Maybe someone wants to be your friend, what do you look for?
Consideration (How to stop the victim mindset)
Maybe give yourself time frames when you will achieve the goal or when it will become an automatic habit
Build yourself to be who you want to be, not who you want others to accept you as
I hope this helps. Any questions or comments you have, comment down below, and this will be considered
Summary
Overcome the victim mindset by focusing on what is important
The fact is you have no control over how others treat you
You may expect change from others, but what’s important is the change from yourself. This is what causes results
Think about your priorities and give attention to what is good for you
You have a choice to pay attention to what is bad for you, or pay attention to what will allow growth
When you prioritise yourself, boundaries are easily set because you learn to communicate in a way that you are not expecting
others to treat you a specific way because this is what you previously learnt
Instead, you are sending an important message that truly matters.