How To Move On- How To Cut The Connection With Someone
In this post I will be sharing with you a physical illustration to demonstrate how to move on, or in other words cut the connection with someone
Finding it hard to move on from someone means you are still open to them
if you are reading this post, then deep down, you know the person you want to move on from is
not healthy for you but you care
The physical illustration in this post (How to move on)
The physical illustration I will be sharing with you to help you move on is thinking about being tied to a rope
Depending on the type of attachment you have with someone, the rope can either be stronger or easily able to be broken
The attachments I reference in this post are physical and emotional attachments
It is important to identify the reasons why you want to move on and why you need to
from then on, you can make changes to break the rope completely
It will help you evaluate how strong the rope is tied to you
Firstly and in this post (How to move on from someone and cut the connection with someone)
Firstly I will explain the physical attachments and emotional attachments that make it harder to move on and then the reasons why you want to move on
I will then show you what you can do to gradually move on or cut the connection with someone
The physical attachments that make it harder to move on or cut the connection with someone
- Financial reasons, you are unable to afford to move out, you currently live with the person or in their neighbourhood
- You both work in the same workplace/ You have investments that are also attached to the person
- You share physical things with the person or you have something that belongs to you or they have something that belongs to them that is yours
- You have the person’s number
- Your family or friends talk or are in relationships with the person you are trying to move on from
- You attend the same school or education institution
- You are related
The emotional attachments that make it harder to move on
- You both are following each other on social media and can see their profile picture, pictures or status
- You fell in love, with the person, they gave you a great impression, maybe you haven’t fell in love before
- Maybe the person is a youtuber , or has a social media presence, who has caused a emotional reaction
for example made you feel validated, you might have a habit searching them online
- You have created memories with them or spent a lot of time with them
- You love them because they are your family and may have grown up with them
- You created a bond with them like no other
Reasons why you want to move on from the person
- You feel you cannot move forward
- They cause you distress or stress
- You cannot focus on your goals
- They hurt your feelings
- You cannot stop thinking about the person
- They ghost you online or ignore your messages and maybe even come back and repeat the cycle
- You know the person doesn’t care or have consideration for you
- They go over your boundaries
- They have betrayed you which is also a emotional attachment
- The person has hurt you deeply whether its through their words or body language
- They show they do not respect you
What does moving on really mean and why it helps
It is important to know what moving on means and the benefits to encourage you to move on, which makes the rope tied to you lighter
Moving on means :
Focusing on what is now considered important, helping you easier to achieve your goals and attract or experience things
In addition to this, focusing on what is important will have an improvement in your body, mind and soul, to finally grow and have what you want out of life
Moving on can help you look, and feel better and finally feel like a weight has been lifted both physically and mentally
Now I have explained this information which is important to know, I will be sharing you with how to finally move on and cut the connection with someone
- Identify is this a physical attachment, an emotional attachment or both?
- Decide are you going to finally move on from this moment, with the reasons why and knowing the benefits
- Take action to do the opposite of the physical and emotional attachment
- Find what actually cuts the connection gradually and completely and this is something of weight that you can run forward to which I will share further in this post
I have created a checklist you can use , you can download it in PDF form and also it provides
you the opportunity to join my email list. It will show you replacements to help you move on, but I will be sharing the replacements in detail in this post
This is an example of what will cut a physical rope:
- If for financial reasons you are unable to afford to move out and you currently live with the person or in their neighbourhood:
you cut the rope by moving further away to cut the rope, this can be by physically seeking help and spending less time in the same place until you can afford to move out- take action to receive the help by searching more about moving out
- Start creating boundaries with the person and build, maintain your own privacy.
This is an example of what will cut a emotional rope (How to move on)
- If you have removed the person from social media , but cant stop thinking about them, find a replacement. A replacement I suggest is having another interest, it could be a new hobby
a person who will fill in that interest whether its on social media or outside of social media
Another suggestion if you are a Christian, is start reading your bible, you could challenge yourself to read the whole bible in a week. This will give you determination
and something to look forward to, in addition to reading the bible, you can work on meditating on it by writing what you learn and what it means for you.
The pdf I have recommended
I have added physical replacements and emotional replacements in the pdf I have recommended, but you will need to add your email
The pdf I recommended also says a physical and emotional tip with you which I also share in this post
I recommend these posts
This post How to Get Over Someone and Move On With Your Life explains to move on is to
surround yourself with people who really care about you. I agree with this because spending too much time by yourself can make you overthink
and spending time with others who are supportive or loving towards you can help you with your wellbeing and processing information that has happened.
Betterhelp.com also recommends to move on from someone is to:
- Create distance.
- Avoid their social media accounts.
- Affirm your feelings.
- Let go of the “what-if”s.
- Write down what you’re going through.
A physical and emotional tip
Create a physical thing that you are attached to and you have to take care of.
1
On a piece of paper : write down something you can take care of- anything physical
what you will be doing, is everyday you have to show up for this thing, by writing down what you have done
whilst also remembering why showing up for yourself is showing up for them, and think about creating moods for them, and why they might feel this way,
think about how you are feeling at that time
2
showing up could be at certain times
for example at 9am I have to bath for this thing so write down I have done this
and this is the feeling they got , what you are doing is creating a commitment as
opposed to thinking about the person you cant stop thinking about, it creates purpose
Example
Physical thing: My teddy bear (animal, person etc, something you like or value)
Give yourself a time on how you will take care of this thing- it can last a week to a year until
you get over or move on from the person you want to cut connection with whilst also following your replacements
Name: Wooly
Age: 3 year old
Needs: a bath, to eat three times a day, needs a book read to them daily,
needs to take a walk, needs to use toilet when needed, needs time to play, to learn something new, to socialise
Times: Bathing- 7am
Eat at 9, 12 and 3, book read 6pm, walk 30 mins at 12:30, toilet 8, 10,1, 4
socialise 11-12
learn 5-6pm
Write at these time they had their meal at 9 in your notebook ,this is how they are feeling,
right now I am going to do this and come back to them when the time is right
Benefits of doing this
Instead of overthinking about someone, you are finding commitment to take care of something.
This involves meeting your physical needs and emotional needs.
You are meeting your own needs whilst showing love and commitment to something you have created
It allows you to feel a sense of purpose which is important to moving on
When you review what you’ve written for a set of days, weeks and month, you know you have made changes or made effort,
the difference is to constantly think about someone is you are using the mental effort for something else
Physical replacements and Emotional replacements
Find purpose in something else, something you can live for , this involves
- Setting a new goal or finding something personal to you that you want to achieve
- Look for weak areas in your life that you can invest time in building, for example if you are addicted to social media, you can invest time in a skill for example
- learning to play a new instrument, learning a new language, watching shows with a language you do not understand, I recommend a list of physical and emotional replacements s in the pdf I recommended also, if you have read this and you need me to provide more information, comment down below
I know this isn’t easy, it can take time
Constantly thinking or investing someone and then suddenly cutting it off can feel like a shock and it can be hard to move on from someone when
you are physically and emotionally attached to the person, its human to care,
give it time and remember the time will pass
I like to think about what will life be like without the person, how will it feel to move on completely from the person?
The physical illustration I mentioned in the beginning of this post (How to move on)
In order to cut the rope, you need to move further away and what makes the weight stronger to finally cut the rope, is to remember the reasons why you want to move on and the actions you will put in place daily to finally move on from the person
personally I am a overthinker but this post is enough to help me if I was to be in the position where I think about someone again
Knowing your worth is important and a tip in knowing this is knowing the time you spent, you cant get it back, what is important is your wellbeing and if the person doesn’t care about you it is time to move on.
FAQ
How to stop constantly thinking about someone
- Try getting in contact with the person if you have a relationship with them and you care, let them know how you feel
- If its hard to contact the person, ask is thinking about the person worth staying in a relationship with them
- If the person affects your mental health, decide if its time to move on
- If you truly care about the person and you want them in your life, give this to God to handle, by praying for them
How to move on after a break up
- Give yourself time to grieve for the break up, this could involve resting for a period of time, give some silence for a short time
- Make priority of self care
- Spend time with loved ones
- Decide to move on and take actions necessary, for example knowing the reasons why you want to move on, removing physical and emotional attachments,
finding physical and emotional replacements. Find purpose in a new thing
How to move on from someone you love
- Spend a short time with yourself to think and process everything if needed
- Express yourself as much as possible, this can be talking to someone close to you in confidence, journaling or seeking therapy
- Start removing physical and emotional attachments as I mentioned above and try finding something new.
How to forget someone
- Depending on your emotional and physical attachment, it can be hard to forget someone,
- but once the effect of the impact of the person has lessened
you will no longer feel bad about thinking about someone
and the way to do this is to create purpose in something new, keep this
new thing to yourself, start setting boundaries, as it can help you because
realistically you are the only one who is dealing with this
When the effect of the impact the person has on you has lessened,
it is easier to forgive and move on
- Spend time with loved ones and build new relationships
I have previous posts I recommend to read: Understanding Fear, Obligation, and Guilt (FOG): Why It Controls You and How to Break Free
and How to stop the victim mindset